Move Along

On Monday, I began my first day with the agency I’m doing my placement at.  While I was there, one of the people I met talked about all of us needing to leave the nest at some point.  For those of you who read the blog regularly (as a refresher) and for those new to it, I will be moving to Ottawa in the fall, or the new year, depending on what happens between now and September.  Recently, with the move of a very dear friend to a distant town, and with nothing else left to keep myself occupied, I have found myself drifting back to my ex-girlfriend, but more specifically the good parts and memories of her that I choose to remember.  It is natural to think about people in that way, especially people you were close with.  In time those thoughts will go away.  I know mine will, in time.  Speaking with the individual I met reminded me of what is to come in the fall, and how important it is for me to leave this city behind and move on.  Last week, I went out to Ottawa to look for places to live come September, and when I saw the buildings of the capital peek over the horizon, I smiled widely.  I was home, and the city felt like home while I was there.   Now that I am back in Barrie, I am reminded of memories that are cued by a place, thing or word, and too often I am reminded of my ex.  I am unhappy here, and I am unhappy because I am haunted.  Haunted by memories that continue to surface.  I walk among the tombstones that mark the graves of days gone by, of memories and people that have since left my life and moved on.  There is nothing left for me here except graves and the memories/ghosts that come out of them.  Growing up and going through university, my life as a whole was by no means rough.  Not at all.  I have lived through the hard times just like everyone else, seen the good parts, too.  It’s just that the rough patches are gathering and becoming a permanent reminder of the things I have seen and been through.  And so, I must leave to start fresh in a place where new opportunities lie and where bad memories, or worse, good memories, can’t follow.  The one thing you should take care not to do is live in the past in an attempt to relive it.  There is no going back.  The past is forever lost to us.  And so, I get to the lesson of this entire post.  If you must retreat, then retreat.  There is no shame in retreat, or surrender.  Know the difference between surrender and giving up.  There is a big difference, so be aware of it.  If where you are becomes too much, then perhaps distancing yourself from it is what is best, and if physical distance is not something you can have or aren’t ready for, go to new places where you are, meet new people, spend time with people you haven’t spent a lot of time with and are good to you and for you.  Sometimes all you need is a new perspective.  Flip the coin, see the other side of it, and when you’re ready or you’ve had enough, move along.  Move along to make it through.  Have hope, my viewers.  We are all in this together and we will make it through, and see the sun rise again.